Linda O

Linda O
Glamorous Me

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's really not about me, but...


So, when all around you are experiencing sad, life-changing events, how do you shake it off and remember that it's NOT about you? I sure could use some tips. The ongoing saga of my sister, added to a week of sad news from folks around me have left me feeling sad, tired, and depressed. My daughter even suggested that I get my doctor to prescribe a larger dose of Zoloft! Here's what the recent weeks have brought:

  • Christine, who after checking herself out of one skilled nursing facility, called 9-1-1 a mere 36 hours later to return to the hospital because of excessive pain. Two days later she was released to a different skilled nursing facility, and without any input from me, it is less than a mile from my office! She was there a week, getting some rehab, but it was slow because she can't put any weight on the right hip with the rod in it. Then, last Tuesday, they transferred her back to the hospital because she has an infection in her wound. They opened her hip back up and debrided the wound, left it open with a wound vac, and began administering mega doses of antibiotics through a port. Yesterday evening they moved her back to the SNF near my office. The infection is localized, but tough to kill (or so the doctor told me). Hers is an ongoing story...

  • My dear brother, Bob, who has Hepatitis C, has had numerous problems with his liver and is now participating in tests for a new drug that has left him sick and tired and angry. If the drug works, his liver will stop deteriorating and will have a chance to regenerate. Meanwhile, he has to get through the tests, which are scheduled to last a year or so! Yesterday, while visiting my sister, I asked if she has spoken to Bob. She said yes, and mentioned to me that he had been fired! When I showed my surprise, she got all worried that maybe she shouldn't have said anything--Bob probably didn't want to worry me. (ha!) I still haven't spoken directly to him about this, but he had been working at this particular printshop for at least 8 years!

  • Yesterday morning, I spoke to my friend Frazier. She and I have a mutual friend, Beryl, who lost her long battle with breast cancer Friday (and I have always poo-poohed stories of Friday the 13th). She was 57 and leaves behind a loving husband and a bright, and loving 12-year-old daughter. Beryl used to work for me in the late 80s in my pre-Texas days. I had only seen her a couple of times since returning to San Diego--once at Frazier's wedding 2 years ago. Beryl, Joe, and little Frazier (their daughter was named after Frazier) came to celebrate the event. Beryl was in chemo and pushed through her exhaustion and pain to share the day with her friend.

  • On Sunday the 15th, my employee & friend, Rosemary, called me to tell me her significant other of 10+ years had been critically injured in a bicycle accident. He was riding through La Jolla, his bike hit a rock or something that stopped it--he was thrown off and hit his head. He was not wearing a helmet! He was brain dead by the time they got him to the hospital. They harvested his organs on Sunday. He was healthy, vibrant, brilliant (truly a genius), and 44 years old. A celebration of his life will be held at the beach he loved on Sunday afternoon. (The picture above is not of La Jolla, but of an area of Big Sur that I took on my recent drive--it IS of the same ocean.) Here's a little info about Alan: http://www-cse.ucsd.edu/cse-people/alumni/alan-nash.html

  • Yesterday, another of my employees, Vaughn, received a call from his aunt who lives in Texas. Vaughn's mom had had a cerebral aneurysm and had been brought to the hospital. Her prognosis is good, but guarded. Vaughn is on his way home (Houston). His mom's surgery was planned for this morning. She did talk to him on the phone yesterday, so we're all hopeful that this event will not mark the end of her life. She's at St. Lukes in the Medical Center in Houston, so I'm pretty sure she's getting good care.

So, I'm ready for this to all be done. As you can see, it's not about me. But even when I know that, it sticks to me and makes me sad. Life is precious. Life is good. But it's not always easy.

2 comments:

  1. No, it's not about you, but it still affects you because it's about those you love. I'm so sorry - it can be so draining. Know that I send you warm thoughts, bright light, and a big hug.

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  2. Life is like that ocean you are so fond of--it ebbs and flows daily. Some days the tides are much more violent. We can hope that we are safely on the shore watching. Some are not so fortunate. We put their names and our hopes for them on the prayer wheel.

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