Hellos and goodbyes come in many guises...some direct, some indirect. Some are spiritual, some specifically tangible. But, no matter what form they take, they can be emotional--both positive and negative.
Retirement---a huge goodbye--is getting closer (52 days) and I'm feeling a huge mix of emotions. Been dreaming weird dreams, feeling some anxiety, and getting really tired every night. Part of me is excited to get to it; part of me wonders what the hell I'm doing!
Picture of whiteboard outside my cube.
Over the past week, my good friend Carmen lost her brother to several heart-attack-related issues that quickly overcame him. He was 81, but in great health...one of those guys who ran, ate well, etc. But, his time came, and he wasn't able to hang on to this worldly plane. I had met him a few times over the years, and I really liked him. Carmen felt closer to him than to most anyone else in this world. He was her big brother. She's hurting and nothing can help but time.
Sedona, AZ, aerial view
My daughter, who is in great health (thank God), and I will be driving to Sedona, AZ, for Mother's Day weekend. We're staying in a metaphysical B&B that uses horse therapy as well as Indian Medicine Circles, etc, to serve their guests. Connie has signed us up for some sort of class on Sunday morning. I'm pretty excited about it! It's been years and years since Connie and I have had a road trip. Well, there have been a few visits to Palm Springs, but those hardly count. This is a biggy and I'm especially pleased about it because it might be the last chance we have to do something like this for awhile--why you may wonder? Because she has shared with me that she's resigning from the Bureau and moving in with her friend Rachel, in Durham, NC. Yup. Clear across the country! Five hours by plane. A week's car ride?
Durham's location in NC
So, despite my wonderful, upcoming new life as a retiree, I will also be separated from my only kid by a whole country. A few folks have asked if I'm entertaining the idea of moving there, too. Nope. Not a chance. I did my stint away from San Diego and when I returned, I vowed never to leave again. This is home. It's not only the people, it's the air, the topography, the ocean, the mountains, the hills, the rocks, and the history. Despite it being an expensive place to live after retirement, I'm here and I hope to stay. I just also hope that my reduced income will allow a few plane rides every year to get to NC. And, maybe, at least once, a road trip across this lovely country of ours.
So, yes...I'm saying hello to a new life. Hello to my upcoming trip to Paris, hello to a new me, but also goodbye...goodbye to my incredible kid being close, goodbye to a full-time job, goodbye to a plentiful income, and goodbye to many people who have touched my life...as I get older, everyone around me gets older, too...and some of them check out. They find life in this manifestation too hard to continue and they move on to whatever comes next.
I know my "next" manifestation is ahead of me...but I'm confident that it's many years away. I'm not scared of it, but I'm not looking forward to it, either. I still have a lot of hellos and goodbyes to say (and sing!).
