Does it take courage to be happy?

I was listening to Rosie Radio (http://www.sirius.com/rosieradio) on Sirius the other night and she was interviewing Florence Henderson, otherwise known as Carol Brady, the mom from the Brady Bunch. Florence is in her mid to late 70s now and is still doing Broadway shows. You can find her somewhat annoying website here: http://www.flohome.com/main.htm

Anyway, she said something that resonated for me...She said, "It takes courage to be happy." She was discussing the death of her husband and her general joie de vivre spirit in spite of loss. Yes, our lovely Carol Brady actually spoke as though she had a good bit of spiritual wisdom. And, thus the statement that I am mulling over.

If I'm in the midst of confusion, frustration, guilt, and despair, can I still be happy? As soon as I push out of the troubling thinking (Tolle says it's the thinking that gets us in troble in the first place) and decide to be happy no matter what, the blackness of the other emotions fades. But where does the courage come in? Is it because it's easier to let the world happen to us than to realize that we have control of our own worlds?

When I'm frustrated and angry about things I can't change for the better (now I'm talking 12 steps!), does it take courage to step back and realize that I do have a belief system that allows me to be "in the moment"? When I recognize my own strengths, am grateful for the prosperity that's come my way, and see the beauty around me, I can put the blackness away and yes, feel happy. But, did it take courage to leave the pity party--especially when it's brought on by very real challenges and loss?

As I was speaking to friend about an entirely different topic, I mentioned that over the last 10 years, I had gained about 60 pounds. I was chastizing myself and beating myself up over the horror of that number. Then, my friend reminded me this: that's only 6 pounds a year, and in those 10 years, I've been laid off, led an international organization, lost my mom, sold a house, bought a house, moved back to San Diego, contracted for a while, began working for one company, became part of an acquisition to another, laid off an employee, had a total knee replacement, cared for my mentally ill sister, traveled to England, France, Scotland, Israel, and China, and had a dog and cat die.

Hmmm. The funny thing is that I bet your list is similar. It's called life. And, if you asked me how I felt over most of those 10 years, I'd say I was basically happy. Guess it does take some courage, at that.

(PS: Sunnyside is the name of the community I lived in from 6th through 12th grade.)

A New Earth

If you're like me, you have obligations that keep you from watching Oprah. Somehow, though, perhaps when I was home after my knee replacement surgery last year, I did watch a few shows. I happened to catch one of the episodes when she was talking to Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth. A New Earth was one of the selections for the Oprah Book Club. I don't purposely follow Oprah's book choices (although I often find after I've read a book that it was one she recommended), but this time I went out and bought A New Earth. I even checked out her online exercises that you can do while reading the book. And then I moved on.

I had the book on my bookshelf for several months. Didn't read it; didn't even think about it. Then, a few months ago, I saw the CD collection for the book at my local county library's used book store and I bought it. Put it in the map pocket of my car and didn't listen to it. A couple of weeks ago, however, after talking with a good friend of mine who was reading the book and raving about it, I thought I'd give the audio version a try during my daily commute.

It has become one of the most incredible books I've ever ingested. In fact, I have begun reading the paper book to reinforce what I hear in the audio version. I'm a firm believer that things come into your life when you need them to show up. The time finally must have been right for me to read this book. It wasn't right when I saw the program. It wasn't right when I bought the book or found the CD collection. But it sure is right now. I'm finding it thought-provoking at minimum and mind-bogglingly awesome at maximum.

It gives me things to think about and it explains some things I've often wondered about. It is the kind of book that will affect each person uniquely. My experience has been one of wonder and enlightenment, provocation and self-evaluation. I can't exactly share the personal journey that I'm having, but I can say that I recommend it to everyone who ever wondered about who we are and what our being is about. Tolle's explanation of why different cultures and different parts of the world have more pain of existence than others was the first that I ever found to make sense. And that's only one of the many premises he makes that rang true for me.

I once had a wonderful friend who was very religious. He understood his relationship to God in a much different way than I understood my relationship with God. We would often have deep discussions about the Bible and what it meant to be a "good" person. He would always seem to win those discussions because he could reference scripture chapter and verse. Me, I was usually only supported by a deep knowing that what I believe is right for me. He would be exceedingly frustrated by my inability and lack of desire to debate. I would merely say, "I understand what you're saying, but my relationship with God works for me. I know this because it FEELS right." To me, this book feels right. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you get it and put it on your bookshelf. I bet it will call you when the time is right.